Why, oh why.

Okay, so I haven't blogged this because it's so complicated.
But my friend Dustin, I've know him like since he was sixteen.
He's nineteen now.
I was like....12 when we met.
Anyways.

He confessed that he loved me like a week ago.
And he'd said he'd loved me for a while.
But this was the first time he'd said anything.
Of course, I'd expected this a while.
But I wasn't sure I was right about it until then.

But like we aren't together for several reasons that I don't feel comfortble discussing.
So just now we were on cam and he BRBed and I kept seeing this shadow on the wall and anyways.
He picked on me for something I thought was quite serious(Also something I don't want to explain)
And then I got off cam and yeah this is how it went:


Lil Chevy says:
really two can play that game
Amy says:
Psh
Amy says:
I don't care.
Lil Chevy says:
yeah you do
Amy says:
If you can pick on me about something I consider to be quite serious.
Amy says:
Then I don't care.
Amy says:
And it's not nethere it's Neither.
Lil Chevy says:
ok fine then ill be online later then
Amy says:
Fine, I may or may not be here.
Lil Chevy says:
good
Amy says:
I do have a curfew, you know.
Lil Chevy says:
w/e
Lil Chevy says:
do u still love me
Amy says:
Do you honestly think so little of me?
Lil Chevy says:
huh
Amy says:
Do I honestly seem like the type who says they love someone and then gets pissed and no longer loves them?
Lil Chevy says:
yea
Amy says:
Then you know nothing about me, Dustin.
Amy says:
Because if that's the girl you think I am, your wrong.
Lil Chevy says:
damn
Lil Chevy says:
i hate being wroung
Lil Chevy says:
lol
Amy says:
So yes, I still love you. However at the moment, I'm pissed and hurt.

So yeah, I need Cree to get back on so she can distract me.
I need Ali on so I can calm down.
And I need Gowri to get back on so she can tell me he isn't worth my time and that he obiviously isn't a very good friend.
Even though he usually is one.
But right now I'm just being reminded of this time when I thought he loved me and he was kidding and I spent like an hour crying in the bathroom.
My parents never knew.
And I don't intend to tell them or Dustin.

Oh and you know what's funny?
I was just re-reading the converstation I just posted and I feel a LOT like Edward.
Like in New Moon when he had to explain to Bella how hard it was to lie to her, and how he had to prove to her the he still loved her and like how he couldn't believe that she could believe for even a minute that he didn't love her. I feel kinda like that.
Except for the part where I said "...I'm pissed and hurt."
That part made me sound like Bella.

Anyways, I'm out.



XOXO,
Dollface.