LOL moment of the day.

Taken from the Twilight roleplay with Ali.






"But I know it was, because I made it that way." - Alicia







XOXO,
Dollface

Crying.

You know, it's just my luck.
Seriously.
Found out today that diploma thingy is like...a scam.
Like they say all colleges will accept it.
But mom did some research today and we found out that only a few trade schools take it.
So we may have just spent 200 hundren and something bucks.
On something i'll never use.
And we'll still have to pay for me to take classes.
And I'll have to drive to them and shit.
And it's just....it's really, really disappointing.
Seriously.
I'm crying.
Shit, this sucks.
My parents are more pissed than anything.

And I'm more disappointed that anything.
I don't even feel like shooting the liars in the foot.



XOXO,
Dollface.

"I don't wanna be the girl who laughs the loudest,"

Title taken from "Sober" - Pink.
Which is what I'm currently listening to.
At the moment I'm eating an apple pie from McDonalds.
Then I'm going to get ready for work.
I'm working 11 to 9.
And then I get to wake up early tomorrow so that I can work 6 to 1(or is it 2?)
Either way, I should be on for a few hours tomorrow afternoon/evening.

Found out I'm not allowed to take pictures at work, even if it is of friends.
Which sucks.
But I'll deal.

Um.....so much to say.
So many ways to say it.
And not enough time.
LOL.
OH SNAP.
9:50 AM?!
CRAPCRAPCRAP.


I gotta go!



XOXO,
Dollface.

Remember.

Remember how I made that blog with the beginning of my "Faves For 2009" Playlist?.
You do?.
Oh good.
Here's the updated verison of it;


1. "Undead" - Hollywood Undead
2. "Gives You Hell" - The All-American Rejects
3. "Up All Night" - Hinder
4. "Sober" - Pink
5. "Candle(Sick And Tired)" - The White Tie Affiar
6. "Shut It Down" - MxPx
7. "Rehab" - Rihanna
8. "Let It Rain" - Living Things
9. "18 Days" - Saving Abel
10. "Ugly" - Sevendust
11. "Slow Dancing In A Burning Room" - John Mayer
12. "Living Dead Girl" - Rob Zombie
13. "Angels On The Moon" - Thriving Ivory
14. "Wonder What's Next" - Chevelle
15. "Almost Lover" - A Fine Frenzy
16. "New Poetry" - InnerPartySystem
17. "Somebody's Watching Me" - Mysto & Pizzi
18. "Die Tonight, Live Forever" - InnerPartySystem
19. "I Hate This Part" - The Pussycat Dolls
20. "Smother Me" - The Used
21. "Poker Face" - Lady Gaga
22. "Smile For The Paparazzi" - Cobra Starship
23. "You Found Me" - The Fray
24. "Welcome To The World" - Kevin Rudolph
25. "Love Struck" - V-factory
26. "Damn You Look Good And I'm Drunk (Scandalous)" - Cobra Starship
27. "My Moves Are White(White Hot, That Is.)" - Cobra Starship


Currently listening to #13.
Toying with the idea of going outside since it's pretty out.
I've got about three hours until we leave to go out to Christine's.
Can't wait to see her.
I have every intention of taking tons of photos while we're there.
Maybe I can even talk Christina into going for a walk and then I can get pictures of nature.
Their ranch is beautiful, like seriously.
Also, I'm wondering if my wifey is up yet.
So yeah...I'm doing okay today.



XOXO,
Dollface.

Also,

I'm wondering where my wifey is.

OMG!

I PASSED!
I PASSED THE TEST!
I'M GETTING MY DIPLOMA NEXT WEEK!
YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*Happy dance*




XOXO,
Dollface.

"Can't stop the rain from falling, can't stop my heart from calling you."

Kinda happy, kinda not.
Currently listening to "Please Be Mine" - The Jonas Brothers.
Was just thinking about that picture that Bailey offered to take of me and Dillion while we were at camp.
My mind then proceeded to drift towards this book I just decided to write.
I've got so many that I'm working on right now that I have to wonder how I manage to keep them from getting all mixed up.
Looked at Class Rings today.
We should be ordering mine soon.
Can't go to Christina's house today, which sucks.
But I get to go tomorrow, which is awesome too.
But I really wanted to see her today.
Wanted to see her reaction to the birthday gift I got her.

I'm toying with the idea of going to a film school for a few weeks next summer.
But I'm also toying with the idea of just taking a road trip, maybe go bug Tyler like I keep telling him I will.
I miss him.
It's strange.
I thought I was totally over him.
But then I saw this comment his G/F left him on facebook, and I got this little pain in my chest.
It didn't make any sense.
I have a thoery.
I think that I'm in so much pain over Aaron, that my mind is trying to make me focus on something else.
Something that I normally wouldn't bat an eye at.
Speaking of Aaron.
I'm doing a lot better on that end.
It hurts, yeah.
But....it's not totally unbearable.
There are moments when I want to burst into tears.
But then I've finally reached that point when I can go a few hours without thinking about him.
When I can just think about someone else.
When I can worry about college.
Worry about what my co-workers think of me.
Worry about stupid shit like how I still somehow feel horrible for not hugging Dillon the last time I saw him.

I think I feel bad about that though, because I'm trying to live my life like I'm dying tomorrow.
Which I'm not dying tomorrow.
But if I was.
And if I got the chance to hug one my friends and didn't.
How would they feel once I was gone?
Would they regret not giving me that one hug?
I know I'd regret it if they died tomorrow.

And....I don't know.
I'm in a strange mood.
I've been in this place before.
This place where I'm annoyed and yet I'm not.
Where I'm happy, but I'm not.
It's just so....strange.
Wish I could have roleplayed yesterday.
I was having a hard time finding someone who'd roleplay with me.
Finally talked Tyler into it and Komo roleplayed with me a little bit too.
But I didn't get enough time in.
Which totally sucks.
I mean, I got waaaay less than an hour.
And....GAH.
This is so annoying.
I just want to do something.
I want to be out making a spoof on Twilight with friends or playing video games with Jacob or something.
Speaking of that....I don't even know if Jacob likes video games....shit, I need to ask him about that.
LOL.

So yeah.
I'm happy.
I'm okay.
I'm disappointed.
But I'm okay.
I'm annoyed, too.
But I'll be alright.
I always am, aren't I?.




(XOXO,
Dollface.)



You know what?. I'm not done with this blog yet.
I thought I was, but I'm not.
I'm also thinking about last spring break and the pillow fight we attempted to have in the hotel room.
I'm also thinking about the fact that I'm going to be getting my GED soon and the fact that being alone sucks.
Also, I really don't like complaining.
And yet, if you read this blog, then your totally going to think I do.
I don't like that.
I don't like being so confusing.
So...contradicting.
I just want people to see me.
And I want people to love me for everything I am.
And everything I'm not.

I love everyone.
I think hugs are amazing.
Tackling people is fun.
I have this habbit of just saying someone's name at work and when they turn to look at me I'm just like "I love you!"
I don't know why I'm like that, but I am.
I wish that me and Tyler could be friends like him and Tobi or Me, Arthur&Oliver
I wish I wasn't always so confusing.
I'm a bookworm.
I'm a dancer.
I'm a protector.
I love almost all types of music.
I love my friends.
I love my family.
I love God.
And I love that stranger I pass by on the street.

I hate spiders, but I love snakes.
I wish I could spend more time with my friends.
I wish I lived closer to my cousin, Jason.

And yet.
I....I just can't discribe what I'm really feeling right now.

So I think I better end this.
Before it gets more out of hand than it already is.



XOXO,
Dollface.

P.S. FUR REALZ YO.

Top 12 Pics of 2008.

As the title says, heres my top 12 pictures of 2008.


January:


February:


March:


April:

(NOTE: For some reason I can't get this picture to rotate, please forgive me.)

May:


June:


July:


August:


September:


October:


November:


December:






XOXO,
Dollface.

Sometimes, I really suck.

You know, it figures.
The one time someone talks to me.
And isn't pissed at me.
And isn't ignoring me.
I can't think of anything to say.
Or what I think about is totally lame.

Also, I'm bored out of my friggin' mind.
I have a headache.
Ali's having problems.
And I don't know what to say.
I feel like such an idiot.
I've realized that I haven't really acomplished anything with this blog because I've kinda kept it hidden from people.
I'm adding it on facebook.
If my friends hate me for what's said here, then oh well.
I'll deal with the pain that comes with that when it happens.
Currently listening to "My Moves Are White(White Hot, That Is)" - Cobra Starship.
Trying to decide if I want to even attempt talking to Zach again.

Also, I'm wondering if he'll read this.
I doubt it.
But it'd be kinda cool if he did.
Then again....
He may totally hate me for it too.
He's been mentioned a few times afterall.
I never said anything bad though....
*sighs*

Life is complicated.
Especially mine.



XOXO,
Dollface.

Wish I knew.

I miss my wifey.
I have no clue where she is.
I'm almost out of coffee.
That doesn't make me happy.

Currently reading her blog.
Trying to catch up on stuff I missed.
I hear the mailman outside.
I may go get the mail.
Then again....maybe not.
Mom's pissed.
So I want to stay out of her way as much as possible.

Kinda tired.
Totally bored.
Thinking about making graphics.
Wish I had someone to hang out with.
Like Jacob.
Or someone else.
Still have no clue who that guy was.
Wish I knew.



XOXO,
Dollface.

"But I'm the kinda guy that you ain't ever seen before."

Okay, on the way home.
This SUV goes to pass us, normally it wouldn't be that big of a deal.
But I noticed a cute guy in the passenger seat who looked kinda familiar.
And then next thing I know.
BAM!
He turns his head, puts his hands against the window like you do when your trying to get a better look at something and block everything else out and while they passed us he was looking at me, kinda smiling.
And as they got to the point where he couldn't look anymore and he went to turn away I noticed that someone in the backseat had been looking too, but I'd been so busy looking at him that I hadn't noticed them.

I'm still trying to figure out who that guy was, and if I know him.
Like I said, he looked familiar.
I wish I knew who he was.

"If you wanna hit the floor-are you ready for more?
I'm the kinda guy that it ain't easy to forget."

Hence the song title and the lyrics.
"My moves are white(white hot, that is)" - Cobra Starship.
It just seems to kinda fit.

Besides buying Viva La Cobra.
I bought Christina her b-day gift(finally)
And I hope she'll like it.
Oh, did I mention that I got her addicted to roleplaying?
Yeah, I'm awesome like that.

So, I have to go to work in the morning(we're opening, so I'll need to go to bed soon)
But I get off early.
So if I have my way I'll be on the computer most of the day after I get off work.
Can't wait to roleplay with my wifey.



XOXO,
Dollface.

Photos.

(Below: Jeff, Me, Chris, Geneva, Jackson, Tanner & a bunch of other people at Crystal's party.)

(Below: This is my son, Ty-bear. Isn't he adorable?!)

(Below: Me with my gift from Tyler, also I'm wearing Tyler gift from me(The stripped western shirt))

On the laptop again.
So I thought I'd add some photos.

Also, I'm kinda sick.
So I don't know if I'll go to work tonight or not.

XOXO,
Dollface.

BURNED MY FINGER.

AND IT HURT.
Had to put LOTS of pickle juice on it.
It's not hurting at the moment.
But it is all blister-y.

Me no likey it.
Currently on the laptop.
Thank God, the wifi is working.
So I'm actually on myspace.
And I've got TONS of stuff to check into and everything.
So this should be tons of fun.



XOXO,
Dollface.

This song is really awesome.

"Living Dead Girl" - Rob Zombie is the song upon which I'm referring.
Found it on XM radio the other day, one of the rock stations.
Octane, I think it was called.
Or something close to that.

EXTREMELY TIRED.
Rough day at work.
Yesterday was worse.
But today was pretty bad still.

Currently writting in my blog/reading Ali's blog/checking Facebook.
Toying with the idea of trying to make myspace work on this computer.

Yelled at this beeping machine this morning.
Told it to "Either shut up or I'd throw it out the drive threw window"
It shut up as soon as I quit speaking.
Which is funny because Tina had been yelling at it for like a minute and telling it to shut up and it just kept beeping.

Just changed the song to "Kiss My Sass" - Cobra Starship.
Feeling kinda spunky.
I seriously hope this new HP fan fic I'm working on turns out good.
It's called "Scream"
I just wanted to do something new.
Still plan to finish the first HP fan fic I start on last year "Without You"
Just haven't had time plus I've had writter's block. (The second reason is the main reason it hasn't been updated in like months.)

Oooh, Christina just called me!!!!.
YAY.


LOVE YOU ALI,
Dollface.

"I can't take it any longer.

Thought that we were stronger, all we do is linger.
Slipping through my fingers.
I don't wanna try now."
- Pussycat Dolls 'I Hate This Part'


Bubba bought a car.
It's badass.
Had an extremely busy day at work and I'm really tired.
About to get off the computer to take my shower.
But I wanted to blog first.

I'm doing okay.
Half the time I'm happy.
Half the time I'm not.
Suppose that's normal.
But I used to be a very happy person as most people know.

Anyways, dad wants me to "get my butt in the shower"
Hmm, maybe I'll get lucky and find my wifey while I'm in there.
(;



XOXO,
Dollface.

About to fall asleep in front of the computer.

Can't wait for Ali anymore.
Must go take a shower.
Then crash.
I'll just talk to her tomorrow, I guess.
Finally finished reading all her blogs from December.
So I'm semi-caught up.
Plus she's told me some stuff over e-mail.

Did you know she's getting a tatt?.
Oh and that I'm thinking about piercing my belly botton?
And that I've got this playlist I'm making entitled "Faves for 2009" ?
I'll go ahead and post what I have so far.


1-"Undead" - Hollywood Undead
2-"Almost Lover" - A Fine Frenzy
3-"Gives You Hell" - The All-American Rejects
4-"Up All Night" - Hinder
5-"Sober" - Pink
6-"Rehab" - Rihanna
7-"Slow Dancing In A Burning Room" - John Mayer
8-"Shut It Down" - MxPx
9-"Let It Rain" - Living Things
10-"18 Days" - Saving Abel
11-"Ugly" - Sevendust
12-"Living Dead Girl" - Rob Zombie
13-"Wonder What's Next" - Chevelle
14-"Angels On The Moon" - Thriving Ivory
15-"New Poetry" - Innerpartysystem
16-"Die Today, Live Forever" - Innerpartysystem
17-"Somebody's Watching Me" - Mysto & Pizzi


Love you Ali,
Love you Tany,

XOXO,
Dollface.

Good-bye's really suck.

Okay, more stuff that happened.

You know the day I talked to Aaron?
The day I found out he was dating that chick?
Well up until Jan. 3rd.
I hadn't talked to Aaron at all.
But then while I was brushing my hair it hit me that he'd just turned eighteen.
I nearly dropped my brush.
I still wanted to be friends and yet I had totally forgotten his birthday.
Didn't that make me a horrible friend?
So I called him.
He couldn't talk long.
But we talked a little bit.
Won't go into detail.
But...
I think it's over.
Like literally over.
Because at the end of the convo, he said something that's like so out of place in one of our converstation's.
"Blow shit up, have a good life-"
And that's all I remember.
After hearing "Have a good life" My heart sank.
And the pain hit again.
Hearing his voice only stirred up a dull pain, only stirred up memories.
But realizing that he appearently wanted nothing else to do with me, ever?
Well, that sucked.
Majorly.

Um.
Yeah, lots more happened.
But it's going to take some time to right down everything, everyone missed.
I'm doing better though.
The pain is usually a dull ache.
But once in a while, I get a sharp pain in my chest.
And when I do, I feel my defenses weaken.
I feel my need to talk to someone grow.
And yet there's this need to be silent.

I don't like silence.
I do.
But I don't.
Lately silence hasn't been a good thing for me.
This pain has caused me to give half-ass responses.
The kind you get from people who don't care about what your talking about.
But the thing is, I care.
I'm just having problem's expressing my interest in these converstations.
It really, really sucks.


So, I think I need to get ready to take a shower and then I'm going to bed.
I'm extremely sleepy. (I had to get up at 4:45 AM this morning to get ready for work and it's currently 9:25 PM....yeah, you do the math.)



XOXO,
Dollface.

Semi-ungrounded

Been grounded nearly two months.
Don't have much time to blog atm.
Have to get up at 4:45 AM to get ready for work in the morning.
Oh yeah.
I work at McD's.
I full intend to update everyone on what they missed.
I'm just not sure how long it'll take.
I got my learners permit a couple of weeks ago.
I missed everyone A LOT.
And um...
I need to read Ali's and Tany's blogs.
Like.....now.
Or soon.
Or something.


XOXO,
Dollface.