I almost cried!

Got up, went to church.
Organized the storage/office thingy in the nursery.
Helped clean up the whip cream from the game we played.
Cleaned the girls bathroom.
Went to...uh....Cici's Pizza f0r lunch.
Walked to Payless, mom bought boots and got heels for Penny to go with the dress we got her for christmas.
I found a really cute pair of black heels.
Dad wouldn't let me get them since I got that cut on my foot, cause like since it's there and it hurt to wear the heels a little, he wants to make sure that they won't hurt my feet when my feet aren't already hurt.
So we'll go back in a week or so to try 'em on again.
Went to walmart.
Bought my brother some jeans for christmas and got a case for the new camera.
(HAHA, DID I MENTION I READ ALI'S MIND?!)
Talked my parents into dropping me off at the theater for the performing arts for this christmas concert the HCYO put on.
Mainly went to support my friends Karrie and Ashley who are in it.
And then I got there and found out my cousin Brianna was in it.
So that was cool.
Ended up sitting between this lady in her late-twenties who was with like her dad and two business men.
By the converstation of the business one of their daughters was in it.
Dunno about the lady and the older dude.
The music was excellent.
I couldn't stop smiling when they did "You're a Mean One Mr.Grinch."
It sounded really cool with like the violin and everything else.
They also did The Pink Panther theme song.
So afterwards I hugged Karrie really big and was like "You played The Pink Panther theme song just for me! I'm so happy."
And I literally was.
I nearly cried when they did "Carol of the Bells"
I loved it so much.
Got a compliment on the color of my dress(I wore this pink and purple halter dress with black skinny jeans and high heeled leather black boots + purple skull earrings and a black sparkly beaded necklace)
Didn't see Ashley after the show, got to spend time with Karrie though.
Looks like me, her and Christina already have a date to go see New Moon together.
Lol.
Um...lets see.
Wifi is still being lame.
We just got the desktop fixed.
So I at least have internet access.
Even if it is slow.
About to get off the internet to do some homework.
OH.
Wrote in two of my books today.
However I didn't do alot of writting in one of them.
But the other one got like...a whole page of new stuff.
Still missing my wifey and my daughter.
I'm hoping to play "Find Edward's Human" again tonight.
Oh yeah, at the christmas concert, there was this one.
Really, really cute guy checking me out.
And I didn't even notice because I was freaking out because Karrie was having a blonde moment.
But mom noticed.
And I was like "Dude, that's hot."
And she was like "I know."
And you know what's even more amazing?!
I was in heels!
And he was still taller than me! <3 I
'm hoping that since he saw me with Karrie that maybe he'll ask her about me.
If he does, she'll be sure to tell me.
I might ask Ashley to introduce us. I
'm still not sure I'm ready for a relationship.
But I am getting better.
I'm not perfect.
I still feel....pain over Aaron.
But I'm getting there.
And here's the thing.
There's a chance that I'll still hurt over him at this time next year.
Falling in love with someone...
And then loosing that someone...
Takes a lot out of you.
Sometimes you appear to get over them fairly quickly.
But then a few weeks later something happens.
And your hurting all over again.
It's going to take a very long time.
It's true.
I'm willing to wait.
But at the same time.
I'm not willing to wait forever.
I'll start playing the field now.
Making friends with people.
So that maybe a few months down the road.
When we know each other better, it won't feel so....bad going out with them.
Because I'll know them.
We'll be friends.
They'll know more of my faults and they might even learn about this entire mess.
I understand how Bella feels in the second book.
Aaron was...is....my jacob.
He...
Means a lot to me.
But in this case, it was different.
Aaron was not only my best friend, he was my fantasy, he was also my Edward.
It's like he's slapping me in the face with the whole. "Your not good for me."
He always said he didn't do long distance relationships, but if I was in town, he'd be the first to ask me out.
He said that more than once.
And then BAM.
What's he do? He gets girlfriend who's in Cali.
*Deep breaths* I'm not even angry.
I'm just...irrated?.
No, not even that.
I'm slightly annoyed.
But I'll get over it.
I'll get over this whole sitation.
I'm happy I got to go out and have some fun today.
I'm listening to "Almost Lover" right now.
I just got in the mood to listen to it.
You know, sometimes I really hate myself.
Hate the way I fall in love so easy.
I'll admit, it's not that easy.
The first few months I usually keep my guard up.
With Tyler, he just kinda....he slipped past the guard.
I fell for him without meaning too.
But then I was happy when I did.
I was happy when he felt the same way.
But this is so much different.
I'm always ready for the next time I'll be stabbed in the back.
I'm always looking for the person who's going to do something to me.
And yet, in some strange way.
I still fall for people very easily.
And sometimes I really hate it.
I'm on the verge of tears.
Because as I sit here and type this.
I realize just how true these words are.
*Exhales*

Okay, I really have to do this homework, or else I'll be in major trouble.


XOXO,
Dollface.